Refugees Must Be Apart of The Solution
The solution is not to "integrate' them into the structure of oppression, but to transform that structure so that they can become "beings for themselves.
– Paulo Freire, Pedagogy of the Oppressed
We entered the classroom. It was chaotic. The supervisor was telling 23 young men that it was mandatory for them to participate in our workshop. The confusion started the day before, when the supervisor cancelled the group. So when Wednesday came, folks who were in the Tuesday group were nowhere to be found. We had a new set of people and I was faced with 23 irritated students.
The program I designed, it is essential that participants choose if they want to participate. Everything is by choice. I do this because I believe that people need to have ownership over their choices. My hope is when they understand they made a choice to be there, they will participate more fully and find the conversations meaningful.
In this case, the supervisor was yelling over the young men. He said it was mandatory. I inserted myself and said it wasn’t. The supervisor looked at me with disdain. I said this workshop is by choice, if you want to go, please go and if you stay, stay. We are going to start in a couple minutes. The supervisor started to talk over me. As we were moving the desks, young men started leaving. The supervisor looked irritated with me. I figure, I would take one angry man who created this problem in the first place to 23 angry young men who do not want to take part in a discussion, any day.
The start of our conversation was very unstable. At the time, I was in the middle of my flu like symptoms. I was yelling because I couldn’t hear out of my ears and my head was foggy. I chose to go on that day because it was our last day for the groups. I wanted to end it on a high note. I wouldn’t say it ended on a high note, however it ended as good as it could’ve considering the circumstances.
We start this particular session with storytelling. Since this was a group that we haven’t met, we offered some context and then asked them to develop a story about a conflict that has no solution. I started the conversation with what happened 5 minutes before we started the group. I used the conflict as an example. We used a technique that a wonderful Jamaican literacy officer suggested, TAG. Tell something positive about the story. Ask questions. Give suggestions.
As we asked participants to give their stories. I am not sure if it was bravery or dependency or perhaps a little of both in a question that was raised. But this young Sudanese man asked me directly since I am rich and he is poor and I organized this, why didn’t I bring him and everyone water. This question and others questions about giving things for people to come to these workshops has been a bane of my existence since I have arrived.
I may be terribly wrong and I have been corrected many times, but I still believe that as international, national, local staff, ngos, governments, and so on we are complicit in creating dependency. We are complicit in creating a structure that just serves/gives and asks nothing out of the participant. My program gives participants choices. If they choose to participate in the program, we don’t ask rather we demand that the participants become active in their thinking. We ask questions and interrogate the problem/conflict. We offer solutions that will offer an empathic response to the conflict.
I have been asked numerous times indirectly why I don’t offer food, water, or soda for these workshops. This time the participant asked me directly. Looking back at it, him asking the question was brave and positive. Perhaps this situation I was in was that something perfectly born thing to happen or perhaps it could have seen the greatest fuck-up disaster that I have done since I got here, which I have a full list. I dug deep down and led with my emotions. This was my first mistake.
I replied, the reason why I don’t bring water to the workshop because there is a water spigot with flowing water right outside this classroom. You can get up and get a drink anytime you want. I am not stopping you. I told him, if you are waiting for me to get you water, I am going to let you down. You just told me about the story about your food rations being not enough. You told me that you are not able to have an education you want. They let you down. If you wait, they will let you down. I will let you down. You need to be the solution. You all need to be the solution. You know best what your community needs. You know best what is culturally appropriate. You need to be the solution. You have a voice in this classroom and in this community. You are using it here to explain what you need. However, what you need is something you can do for yourself. Organizations are here to support but you also need to take an active role. If there is a next time, I can come with cups to hold the water but ultimately you need to walk over there, get the water, and drink it. I cannot and will not do this for you.
As my voice trailed off and he started into more questioning towards me. I left the conversation completely for what seemed like minutes but for a couple seconds. I felt my exhaustion, my low grade fever climbing, my voice echoing in my ears which sounded like a 12-year old boy going through puberty and stabbing pain in my ears as I knew an infection was starting in both of them. I sat there with 10 men continuing a conversation.
The next 60 minutes (we were only going to go for an hour, but we ended up to go for 2 hours) was one of the most challenging conversation, I have had yet. At the end of the day, I was left with 10 men that wanted to continue the conversation the next day. The participant who asked about the water said that they should all want a wife like me. He also added, Don’t give up and I have hope.
Unfortunately, I was left with little hope, little hope that I am doing anything right.
