STACI B. MARTIN, EdD
"Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world's grief. Do justly now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it."
- The Talmud
The Best Leaders are the Citizens
Gayartri[1] told me, “Staci, I am a leader, too.” This would not be a subversive comment, if you didn’t know what I asked her to do. For the past three weeks, Gayartri had been working with me, as she developed her own style of implementing the Khelera Sikou (in Nepalese -Learning by Playing) Program in her school in Nepal. I was asked to train a group of Nepali Mountain Guides, who would trek voluntarily into remote areas of Nepal and run basic medical/hygiene workshops and train the local teachers in the Khelera Sikou Program.
I asked Gayartri to train them, instead of me. When I coach, teach, or mentor, I use Edith Kramer’s “third hand technique”[2] where I use an empathic response to support the co-facilitator. I remove barriers and make sure that s/he is equipped to be successful but ultimately having them carry out the work. Hopefully, by doing this, a sense of empowerment, ownership, and agency is developed.
I explained to Gayartri that I would be at the training if she needed me. I knew she was taking a leap out of her cultural norm and was about to train 14 Nepalese men who spoke fluent English. I asked her how she was feeling. She remarked to me, “But Staci, I am just a mother.” I said, “Gayartri, you are much more, you are great teacher and you are strong woman.” She looked at me with a hint of a smile and said, “Staci, I am a leader, too.” I replied, “Yes, now show these guys how to lead.”
It turned out that Gayartri not only pulled off the training with grace and confidence, but she made the very people in her country who rarely take notice of her, notice her. She was seen, heard, and validated. In that training, she created a dialogue that was deep, deliberate, culturally relevant and hopeful. The leader who invited us said, “You know, Staci, the best people to help Nepal are the citizens of Nepal.” I could not agree more.
I co-founded the Khelera Sikou Program which is a program that works with children and youth using the arts and literacy to strengthen the participant’s personal voice and open discourse for other alternative, pro-social ways of reducing violence in schools and the greater communities. I have implemented 2 other programs, in South Africa (nthabiseng) and Jamaica (Irie), they have similar values, mission and all three programs have three critical adult learning components: 1) 6-8 hour training; 2) on-going coaching for three weeks; and 3) community-based learning. All three programs are running in their respective countries, which have taken their program and made it their own. I continue to help them by writing grants.
I believe the most important role as a mentor, learner, and teacher is for me to give people the place, time and space to be seen, heard, and valued. Often times, when I join them on their journey, they see their life as one narrative with one outcome. I believe we can help reframe those narratives by expanding their ideas of themselves, their community and the world around us. Thus, resulting in multiple outcomes.
After the training, Gayartri looked exhausted however, in the same breath, she had a sense of confidence, I had never seen in the past three weeks that I had been working with her. Gayartri’s narrative is one, among many narratives that I have been grateful to be a part of and has reinforced the notion that collaboratively we can change lives as the communities we are engaged with change ours.
(1] Permission was granted to use our story and her name in my essay.
[2] Kramer, E. (1986 February). The art therapist's third hand: Reflections on art, art therapy, and society at large. American Journal of Art Therapy, 24:3, 71-86.